These 40 days of Lent offer us a time for honest self-reflection.
We should be submerging deep within ourselves, to examine our behaviour, the
ways in which we treat others, react, and respond to them. You see, someone might
make a comment and immediately you take offense.
You overhear a flippant remark, and you get so angry, steam
is literally escaping from your ears.
An associate expresses an opinion not in line with yours and
you’re disappointed to tears.
You say something that others don’t necessarily agree with,
and you see it as an affront.
You ask a loved one a question, they answer you in a way that
you think they ought not to, and you automatically view it as a personal attack,
now you’re highly offended.
Why are you offended?
Why do you think that you are constantly under siege? Why do
you feel that everyone should agree with you in every regard? Why do you
measure and analyze everything that others say and do in the light of negative
criticism?
God made us all different and that includes our opinions.
Sometimes we’ll agree and a lot of times we won’t…and you know what, it’s okay.
Offense occurs when you have a false sense of security,
misplaced expectations, a need to be always commended for your actions, a
desire to be seen as a good person, a feeling that your concerns have been
violated, you’re seeking value from the opinions of others, you continuously
believe that even the most casual remark is a pot-shot at you, and that you are
the target of another’s criticism.
No matter what others say you’re easily slighted – the most
innocent of comments said in, what you perceive as off-handed, send you into a tailspin
of “it’s about me…boo-hoo”. And, guess what, you are gripped in the claws of
offense.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that people don’t
deliberately set out to be offensive and to cause hurt, but I am saying that
you don’t have to claim it or allow it to claim you. You do not have to take
responsibility for the opinions of others. You do not have to place infallible
expectations on imperfect humans.
Solomon, by his God-given wisdom, said this, “Don't pay
attention to everything people say—you may hear your servant insulting
you, and you know yourself that you have insulted other people many times.”
(Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 GNT)
People, even you, say a lot of things, but you don’t have to
take it to heart. Being offended is rooted in ‘self’. Self-centeredness causes
you to believe that everything is about you, and as long as you think that way,
you’ll always take offense, even at little things, even this Blog Post. This
can only change when you take your eyes off of you. Your value, security and
confidence must be rooted in Christ, not in yourself.
Jesus said this, when the woman with the alabaster jar was
publicly criticized, “Leave her alone. Why are you attacking her?” (Mark 14:6
VOICE)
When your value, security, and confidence is rooted in
Jesus, He will always defend you. Keep your mind fixed on Him and He will keep
you in perfect peace (see Isaiah 26:3). Jesus actually shows you how to deal
with offense in 1 Peter 2:23 which records that Jesus let God, the Just Judge,
take care of the offender.
You are not called to retaliate, to seek revenge, or even to
answer back; instead, you are to repent of offense, not by feeling bad about it,
but by changing your mind, changing course and praying. Be determined to become
better and do this,
Cover offenses: for the sake of love, don’t sweat the small
stuff
“…love covers all offenses” – Proverbs 10:12 (HCSB)
“Above everything else be sure that you have real deep love
for each other, remembering how ‘love will cover a multitude of sins’.” – 1
Peter 4:8 (Phillips)
Overlook offenses: forgive the offender, focus on love and
not on the offense
“A wise man restrains his anger and overlooks insults…” –
Proverbs 19:11 (TLB)
“Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or
touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it
wrong.” – 1 Corinthians 13:5 (TLB)
Beloved, keep in mind that authentic love is the antidote to
the poison of offense. Pray that God will so fill you with the love of Christ that
your tendency to get offended will be eradicated.
Amen†
Shelley Johnson “Let us Repent of…Offense” © 2017 revisited
March 17, 2025
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