Quit pretending

 

These days there are so many ways for people to connect remotely that we seem to have forgotten how important it is for us to connect in person.

We have stopped getting together like we used to, instead we’d rather make a video call than go pay a visit. We’d rather connect via social media than meet up socially for a meal.

We’ve become so dependent on our devices that we have forgotten how to connect from a place of genuine expression. Instead, everyone seems to be performing for the approval of some digital audience.

Human beings were created to be in relationship. First, Adam with God and the animals but then God recognized that “It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him—a counterpart who is] suitable and complementary for him.” (Genesis 2:18 AMP).

And God created Eve as “a helper” comparable for Adam. The original Hebrew phrase, “ezrah negdo” means “helper opposite him” and implies a fitting partner.

Everyone needs a fitting partner, not necessarily a marriage partner in the romantic understanding but someone in your life who is able to balance you, keep you in check from heading off course.

In Hebrews 10:24-25 (AMP) it is written,

and let us consider [thoughtfully] how we may encourage one another to love and to do good deeds, not forsaking our meeting together [as believers for worship and instruction], as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more [faithfully] as you see the day [of Christ’s return] approaching.

The fact of the matter is that people need people; needing others is neither a sign of weakness nor a burden. We were not created to live in isolation but to connect and be in relationship with others.

We are meant to build communities where people don’t feel that they cannot present their authentic selves, where people aren’t constantly auditioning for approval, where performing isn’t the standard, where people can come as they are, presenting the real version of themselves.

So many of us, for one reason or another, are living a significant part of our lives pretending for acceptance at work, at home, in school, even in church. There are too many church-goers who feel that they can’t be their authentic selves in church, not because they necessarily want to hide but because they are made to feel that they have to, so they create a church persona believing that the real them isn’t safe to show – that as they truly are will never be accepted.

It’s unfortunate that the church, once a safe space, has become a place of judgment where condemnation is the status quo so that visitors to the sanctuary don’t feel that they’ve entered a sanctuary; instead of a friendly welcome, they’re greeted with suspicion. That sense of community just isn’t there anymore.

Apostle Paul warned against being unequally yoked with unbelievers in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 but nowadays it appears that the danger to the unity and community of the church is from those who call themselves believers.

Beloved, calling yourself a Christian but not following Christ is being a spot in the love feast (Jude 12) or a tare among the wheat (Matthew 13:40-43) so I urge you to check yourself even if you don’t feel that you are a danger to the community in that way.

Inner excavation is always necessary from time to time because we, as Christians, have become so accustomed to pretending that we unknowingly slip off the path. Understand that the inner work does not automatically produce the change; you have to purposely and repeatedly practice.

In order to live the life in all its authenticity, quit pretending.

Amen †

Shelley Johnson “Quit pretending” © 2026 July 23, 2026