Why are you Offended?

Someone makes a comment and immediately you take offense. You overhear a flippant remark and you get so angry steam is literally escaping from your ears. An associate expresses an opinion not in line with yours and you’re disappointed to tears. You say something that others don’t necessarily agree with and you see it as an affront. You ask a loved one a question, they answer you in a way that you think they ought not to and you automatically view it as a personal attack, now you’re angry and hurt. 

Why are you offended? Why do you think that you are constantly under siege? Why do you feel that everyone should be in agreement with you in every regard? Why do you measure and analyze everything that others say and do in the light of negative criticism?

God made us all different and that includes our opinions. Sometimes we’ll agree and a lot of times we won’t…and you know what, it’s okay. 

Offense occurs when you have a false sense of security, misplaced expectations, a need to be always commended for your actions, a desire to be seen as a good person, a feeling that your concerns have been violated, you’re seeking value from the opinions of others, continuously believe that even the most casual remark is a pot-shot at you, and that you are the target of another’s criticism. No matter what others say you’re easily slighted – the most innocent of comments said in, what you perceive as off-handed, send you into a tail spin of “it’s about me…boo-hoo”.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that people don’t deliberately set out to be offensive and to cause hurt but I am saying that you don’t have to claim it. You do not have to take responsibility for the opinions of others. You do not have to place infallible expectations on imperfect humans.

Solomon, by his God-given wisdom, said this, “Don't pay attention to everything people say—you may hear your servant insulting you, and you know yourself that you have insulted other people many times.” (Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 GNT)

People, even you, say a lot of things, but you don’t have to take it to heart. Being offended is rooted in ‘self’. Self-centeredness causes you to believe that everything is about you, and as long as you think that way, you’ll always take offense, even at little things, even this Blog Post. This can only change when you take your eyes off of you. Your value, security and confidence must be rooted in Christ, not in yourself.

Jesus said this, when the woman with the alabaster jar was publicly criticized, “Leave her alone. Why are you attacking her?” (Mark 14:6 VOICE)

When your value, security, and confidence is rooted in Jesus, He will always defend you. Keep your mind fixed on Him and He will keep you in perfect peace (see Isaiah 26:3). Jesus actually shows you how to deal with offense in 1 Peter 2:23 which records that Jesus let God, the Just Judge, take care of the offender. 

You are not called to retaliate, to seek revenge, or even to answer back; instead you are to do this,

Cover offenses: for the sake of love, don’t sweat the small stuff

“…love covers all offenses” – Proverbs 10:12 (HCSB)

“Above everything else be sure that you have real deep love for each other, remembering how ‘love will cover a multitude of sins’.” – 1 Peter 4:8 (Phillips)

Overlook offenses: forgive the offender, focus on love and not on the offense

“A wise man restrains his anger and overlooks insults…” – Proverbs 19:11 (TLB)

“Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong.” – 1 Corinthians 13:5 (TLB)

Love is the antidote to the poison of offense. Pray that God will so fill you with the love of Christ that your tendency to get offended will be eradicated.

Amen†

Why are you Offended?

Shelley Johnson March 9, 2017